dose.of.influence

Lock Down His Love

By Elise Nersesian, Women's Health

Fri, Apr 30, 2010

It happened slowly, over time. Relationships became less defined, and now it's often hard to know if you're actually in one. "Even if a guy acts like a boyfriend, he may not be committed," says Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women. "Online dating gives you so many choices that some guys prefer to keep their options open."

That's where Facebook comes in—not only does it connect men with new potential mates, it also keeps them in touch with old flames. "Our studies show that 80 percent of people keep in contact with their exes through social-networking sites," says Amy Muise, a Ph.D. candidate in the department of applied social psychology at the University of Guelph in Ontario. "With all these reminders of the past, it can become harder for men to live in the present and make their relationships official."

What's goes through the cheating guy's mind?

The Provider Complex

But perhaps the biggest factor that's keeping men perpetually single is the economy. Significantly more men than women have lost their jobs. In fact, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, roughly 75 percent of lost jobs have been to men since the recession began. Understandably, guys feel overwhelming pressure to focus solely on their careers. "Many men have decided they simply can't afford to have a girlfriend right now," says Bethany Marshall, Ph.D., author of Deal Breakers. "They don't have the money to buy expensive dinners or fancy gifts." Nor do they feel they have the time or energy necessary for making a relationship work.

He's not rich or have great earning potential? Why it shouldn't matter.

As a result, many couples (and we're using that term loosely) fall into a gray area that sort of resembles a relationship but lacks the exclusivity and respect that a real romance requires. And this state of being may suit men better than women. "It's important to women to know where they stand," Marshall says. "They are relational by nature and need to know their role with a man in order to feel comfortable."

How to Make Him Your Boyfriend

According to research, women have a greater chance of landing a boyfriend when they don't have sex on the first date. "Even if he's trying to angle his way upstairs, men actually enjoy waiting," advises Haltzman. Log three or four dates before sleeping with him. If that's too retro for you, at least limit the number of nights you hang out. "Don't skip yoga or happy hour just because he wants to see you," says Marshall. "Not always being available keeps the mystery alive."

Also, when he asks what you want to do on a date, throw out something low-key, like dinner at a bar or a bike ride. That will take the pressure off him financially, and you'll appear fun and unpretentious—qualities all men admire.

A Guy Speaks: 11 Reasons men love women.

Done all that and he's still not committing? It's time to articulate your desires. "Guys may hate 'the talk,' but it's fair for you to express that you would like to be exclusive," Haltzman says. Try saying something like, "I'm having fun with you and I don't really want to see other people anymore. Do you?" If he says he can't commit, break it off. Sometimes, realizing you're slipping away is what gives him the kick in the butt to hold on.

Smart online-dating strategies

By Amy Klein

When I first decided to take the plunge and post an online profile, the first thing I noticed was how many people there were to choose from. At first, this seemed like a great thing — after all, I wasn’t meeting thousands of eligible singles at my job — but soon it became confusing. How do you sift through so many potential mates? What are some qualities to look for? To watch out for? How can you be sure your profile sends out the right message? Well, I did some research on my own, asked lots of questions of veteran online daters and got some great advice. Here are the best pointers for you to try. They are:

ThisIsNotAGoodScreenName

You never get a second chance to make a first impression, and with online profiles it all starts with a screen name. A generic name like “NYCNancy” is not as eye-catching as a specific one like “NancyLovesDancing.” But don’t get too specific, because “NancyLovesDancingNaked” might be more information than people want. Also, believe what people say about themselves: If his screen name is “PartyBoy” and you like to curl up on the couch, he’s probably not the guy for you.

Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!

I am a: Seeking a: Near: Picture this!

Nowhere is it more true that a picture says a thousand words than with Internet dating, where some people don’t even read the profile (at least until after they’ve parsed every pixel). Here’s what my trusted online dating advisers — OK, that includes a lot of my friends — have to say.

What women look for in photos: Women want a man with a great smile, but more important, a guy should look directly at the camera, otherwise “he may have problems connecting,” says Natalie, a self-proclaimed picture examiner. (Also, it’s hard to tell what someone looks like if he’s not facing the camera.) A man posed with his pet or his nieces and nephews might seem as if he’s trying too hard to look caring to some women, Natalie continued, but it gives her the impression that he’s a good guy. The one thing all the women I asked agreed upon is that they do not want to see a topless body shot. As Natalie put it, “I want to be one of the few to see my boyfriend shirtless.”

What men look for in photos: Not surprisingly, men are different. Many men say that when they see a woman’s array of photos with plenty of close-ups but without a body shot, they assume the woman is overweight and uncomfortable with her body. “I’m not looking for a supermodel,” my friend Jon explained, “just that she’s attractive.” Women would do best to avoid shots with kids (even if it’s nieces and nephews) and cats, Jon advised, because it could trigger a man’s flight instinct. But what about guys who checked the box saying they’re looking for “marriage and children”? Jon admitted that men can seem confusing sometimes.

Parsing the profile

Few people like filling out those online-profile questionnaires, but writing, “I hate writing about myself” — or about anything you hate (materialistic women, egotistic men) isn’t the best way to introduce yourself to new people. “Your job is to attract the right person, not repel the wrong person,” says dating coach Evan Marc Katz, author of I Can’t Believe I’m Buying this Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating.

Be positive and be specific, Katz advises. Avoid subjective adjectives such as “attractive,” “funny” and “smart,” as well as phrases about looking for someone who “gets me” or “understands me” — because that’s what everyone wants. To avoid sounding too generic, explain what that means to you.

Here are some qualities to look for in a good profile:

An actual sense of humor. Not someone who writes, “I have a great sense of humor,” but someone who exhibits real humor in his or her profile.

A passion for something. It could be family, indie rock, old cars, old cats, anything. As a general rule, a person who lacks passion probably won’t have it for you, either.

Reciprocity. “I want to care for someone and be cared for,” Stacey writes in her profile. People who talk about mutual, loving relationships aren’t looking for a mother or father figure, but an adult partnership.

Realism. “I’m not looking for perfect,” Ben writes in his profile. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows they are flawed. That people are flawed. But they want to be involved with another person anyway.

In online dating, dating coach Katz says to remember one thing: “People are both more and less than their profiles.” Like the guy who sounds like Mr. Perfect but is just blah in person, or the woman who is amazing but whose profile is rather bland.

So yes, you have to be selective to sort through thousands of smiling singles — but not too selective. “We spend too much time online looking for excuses to say no to people,” Katz says. “I think we should extend the same courtesy to others that we’d like them to extend to us.” Cut people some slack. And even though I’ve put that thought out there — I still think I’ll go change my profile photos.

Amy Klein is an editor and singles columnist at the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles. She has written for the San Francisco Chronicle, the Chicago Sun-Times, the Jerusalem Post and the Los Angeles Daily News.

Prevent Love Chub

By Jill Waldbieser, Women's Health

Thu, Apr 22, 2010

Falling in love can make you feel all soft and gooey inside. Unfortunately, it can have the same effect on your outside. Skip a workout here, order some greasy takeout there, and before you know it, you have more than just butterflies in your stomach—you've got a full-on jelly roll hanging over your waistband. Or as Lauren Conrad, former star of The Hills, put it: You've acquired the dreaded "boyfriend layer."

"When we get comfortable in a relationship, we establish new habits together that aren't always the best for our weight," says Amy Gorin, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Connecticut. WH has identified five of the behaviors that can lead to a serious case of love chub. But don't worry—we've also included easy fixes.

YOU EAT OUT... ALL THE TIME

When you're single, you tend to prepare healthy foods at home. But once you're in a relationship, it's decadent dinner dates followed by caloric brunches. "Couples bond over food, and enjoying it becomes a special ritual in their relationship," says nutritionist Christine Avanti, author of Skinny Chicks Don't Eat Salads. That's bad news for your waistline: A Men's Health analysis of 24 national chains revealed that the average entree at a sit-down restaurant contains 867 calories. And that doesn't include apps, sides, and dessert.

Too much eating out? Are your friends a fat influence?

THE FIX: EAT IN. "Cooking together can be intimate," says Elizabeth Ward, R.D., a nutritionist in Boston. "Food is very sensual, especially when you take turns tasting it." Plus, of course, you can control the fat and calories by using healthy recipes and ingredients that are low in fat. When you do dine out, eat a healthy snack that contains protein and fiber a few hours before your meal. "Women often skimp all day when they're going out at night," Ward says. "But that leaves them so hungry that they end up overdoing it." Nonfat yogurt and a piece of fruit or a small bowl of cereal with lowfat milk are smart choices.

YOU'RE ALWAYS IN BED

Or on the couch. Or anywhere but the gym. A study last year in the journal Obesity found that couples who live together for two or more years are less likely to be physically active, and the women are more likely to become obese. "As positive as relationships can be, they also change your routine," says Martin Binks, Ph.D., director of Binks Behavioral Health. "You schedule more couple's events and have less time to yourself." Drinks with your new guy... or a date with the old treadmill? It's not exactly a tough choice.

Try the Better Sex Diet.

THE FIX: GET HIM INVOLVED. A study in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that women who exercised with a partner lost more weight than those who sweated solo. "When people do something together, they're more likely to stick with it," explains Karen Miller-Kovach, R.D., author of He Loses, She Loses. So sign up together for a 5-K, go for a bike ride instead of watching a movie, or join the same gym. When you don't feel like going, he'll drag you there, and you'll do the same for him.

YOU MATCH HIM BITE FOR BITE

It's tough to stick to petite portions when your dining companion downs 500 to 1,500 more calories a day than you do. "Women develop 'portion distortion,' " Ward says. "You don't recognize a normal-size serving anymore because you're always eating with a guy who consumes huge platefuls of food." He might be able to get away with it (guys have more muscle mass, so they require more calories), but shoveling in all those extra forkfuls will eventually catch up with you.

THE FIX: SERVE YOURSELF LESS. Eat about three-quarters of what he'seating. Sorry, but women burn 26 percent fewer calories than men do, soat that rate you'll just about break even, says clinical psychologistSusan Albers, Psy.D., author of 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food.

37 Yummy protein-packed meals for more weight loss.

HIS SNACKS ARE YOUR SNACKS You might not buy chips for yourself, but when he leaves the bag out on the coffee table, you need supreme willpower to ignore it. A study from Newcastle University's Human Nutrition Research Centre found that women were more likely to adopt their partner's eating habits than vice versa. "It's one way women connect with men," says Stacy Kaiser, a licensed psychotherapist based in Southern California.

THE FIX: KNOW YOUR OPTIONS. You have two diet-friendly choices: Serve yourself a small amount of his snack and put it on a plate (dipping your hand into the bag over and over again leads to diet disaster), or do what Ward suggests and have a portion-controlled, lower-calorie alternative on hand to munch while he takes down that bag of chips or pint of ice cream. Popchips (120 calories per serving, with just three servings in a big bag!) can satisfy your salt craving, while hockey-puck-size Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches (140 calories) fill in nicely for fattening frozen treats. And they're so good, who knows, you may even convert him.

YOU'RE HAPPY

Research shows that what's good for your heart may be bad for your hips. A study published last year in the journal BioPsychoSocial Medicine found that happy people were less likely to succeed at losing weight than those with a "slightly negative and cautious outlook."

THE FIX: WEIGH IN OFTEN. It's great to accept your body and not obsess over every last calorie, but it's hard to feel good about yourself when none of your pants fit. To prevent your eating habits from spiraling out of control, Miller-Kovach recommends regular weigh-ins. "Studies have shown that once you pass the five-pound mark, weight gain can take off like a runaway train," she says. Seeing the scale creep toward that mark can be a call to action. Still need convincing? Women in a Duke University study who lost as little as 10 percent of their body weight reported dramatic improvements in the bedroom. "Research shows that people who are more active and happier with their bodies have more satisfying sex lives," Ward says. If that's not motivation, we don't know what is.

Men: What Your Sex Life Says About Your Health

By Paula Spencer Scott, Caring.com

Sex is great until, well, it's not so great. When something goes awry, it's easy to blame being in a bad patch or a bad relationship. Or . . . could your body be trying to tell you something?

5 Things Men Fear Most About Aging

"There's an increasing awareness that sex isn't just about quality of life -- sex can be a harbinger of underlying medical conditions," says urologist John Mulhall, director of the Sexual Medicine Program and the Sexual Medicine Research Laboratory at Weill Medical College of Cornell University in New York City.

The following ten sex scenes are no fun, but they're worth mentioning to your favorite primary doctor or urologist (the specialist who handles many men's plumbing issues).

Sex scene #1: You're just not interested any more.

It might be: Low testosterone

Lots of things can cause your sex drive to shift into neutral: work stress, falling out of love, lack of sleep. (See also: Sexless After 40? Don't Be!) But what if those things don't apply and you'd still rather count sheep than make love? Or if the sights and touches that once turned you on leave you literally unmoved? You might have a hormone out of whack.

"Testosterone is the most important metabolic hormone for men," Mulhall says. "If it's low, you're at increased risk for osteoporosis, type 2 diabetes, coronary artery disease, metabolic syndrome, and premature death -- and your only symptom may be low libido."

What to do: Get your testosterone level checked with a simple blood test. Make the appointment for before 10 a.m., Mulhall says, when levels are highest. If yours is low, you'll be referred to a urologist or endocrinologist who can help you evaluate treatment options, which include testosterone supplements.

Sex scene #2: You're just not interested -- and you're feeling down, too.

It might be: Depression -- or depression meds

Loss of interest in sex is a classic sign of clinical depression. Yet the treatment for depression can have the same side effect. Talk about a catch-22. Drugs in the SSRI family of antidepressants (including Prozac, Paxil, and Zoloft) have been found in many studies to zap desire in both men and women. (They can also cause anorgasmia -- the inability to climax.)

What to do: If you haven't been diagnosed with depression and you're feeling low (along with experiencing low libido and other common symptoms of depression), mention all this to a doctor. Clinical depression is highly treatable with talk therapy and medication. If you're currently being treated with an antidepressant, ask your prescribing doctor about switching to a class of drugs less associated with sexual side effects, such as bupropion (Wellbutrin). Ask, too, about taking a "drug holiday" from an SSRI if you're on one; some doctors endorse quitting these meds for a day or two at a time in order to allow libido to bloom.

Sex scene #3: More and more often, you can't hold an erection.

It might be: A heart problem (the cardiovascular kind, not the romantic kind)

Say you're a relatively healthy midlife guy, a little overweight, and you start having erectile trouble. Count yourself lucky. It might be your tip-off that you're three to five years away from coronary artery disease, says Mulhall. "Two-thirds of men who have had heart attacks had erectile dysfunction (ED) that predated angina by at least three years," he says. "Men are increasingly being diagnosed with ED due to low blood flow, which increases their chance of heart disease."

What to do: Get your cholesterol checked. It's abnormal in 75 percent of men with ED, Mulhall says. "ED isn't just about having bad sex; it's a window to your vascular health," he says. And before things worsen, start exercising and lose weight.

Sex scene #4: You suddenly can't get it up -- but you were fine last month.

It might be: A blocked artery, especially if your leg mysteriously hurts too

The occasional limp penis is a casualty of naturally decreasing hormone levels as men age and experience changes in relationships, says Adam Tierney, a urologist with Dean Health Systems in Madison, Wisconsin. But what happens when ED comes on suddenly? An unusual but worrisome cause is aortoiliac occlusive disease, or Leriche's syndrome, a narrowing of a heart artery due to blockage.

Hallmarks of Leriche's syndrome: erectile problems that come on suddenly (one week you're fine, and the next you have persistent issues) and are accompanied by pain in the leg (especially the calf) or the buttock, especially when you walk or exercise. People with problems of the nervous system (Parkinson's disease, multiple sclerosis, diabetes) are at higher risk, as are smokers and those with high blood pressure.

What to do: Report this unusual combination of symptoms to your doctor. "It's another kind of blood flow issue," Tierney says.

Sex scene #5: Your penis aches while you're having intercourse.

It might be: Peyronie's disease

Peyronie's disease, an uncommon condition that can develop at any age, is the formation of abnormal scar tissue under the penile skin, which can cause a hardened spot in the middle or make the penis bend slightly when erect. It's often simply noticed as a constant discomfort during intercourse. "Some guys come in and say, 'My penis just aches when I have sex,'" Mulhall says.

What to do: Always take pain as a sign something's amiss -- and tell your doctor. Peyronie's cause is unknown, but it's not an STD or a cancer. (It sometimes runs in families.) There's no surefire treatment, although surgery is often successful.

Sex scene #6: Your partner, touching you, asks, "Hey, what's that?"

It might be: Testicular cancer

Testicular cancer is asymptomatic -- it doesn't hurt. But it often presents as a painless bump or swelling on the testicle, which can be detected through self-exam (a good monthly habit) or by a partner's roaming hands during sex.

What to do: Testicular cancer has a near-100-percent cure rate in early stages, so don't ignore a lump; get yourself to a doctor. The best time for self-exams: standing up in a hot shower, when your muscles are relaxed.

Sex scene #7: You ejaculate way too quickly.

It might be: Hyperthyroidism

Premature ejaculation (PE) -- climaxing either before intercourse or very soon after it begins -- is the bane of younger men but can strike at any age. How soon is too soon is a relative issue, but a general rule of thumb is that PE is a problem when it routinely strikes without any control within a couple of minutes of insertion and sooner than either partner would like. As many as one in three men experience it at some point in their lives. Psychological issues (too excited, too immature, guilt) were once blamed for all cases, but doctors now know there can be physical causes, especially a malfunctioning thyroid (the gland responsible for making and storing key regulatory hormones).

"For some men, the only symptom of hyperthyroidism is premature ejaculation," Mulhall says. One 2005 study found that fully half of men with a malfunctioning (hyper) thyroid complained of PE.

What to do: Though premature ejaculation is hard for many men to talk about, it's highly treatable. If blood tests and an exam point to hyperthyroidism, medication can return your sex life to normal. And if your thyroid checks out OK? Therapies that thwart PE include breathing exercises, distraction, using a condom to diminish sensation, and behavioral therapies. SSRI-class antidepressants are also prescribed because, Tierney says, in healthy people without PE, they cause delayed orgasm.

Sex scene #8: When you ejaculate, it hurts.

It might be: A muscle spasm disorder, or prostatitis

In women, there's a condition known as vulvodynia, mysteriously chronic pain of the vulva (around the vaginal opening). Penile pain at orgasm is thought to be the male counterpart, Mulhall says. The latest thinking on both conditions is that they're some kind of nerve disorder, although it's not clear whether this is in response to an infection or some kind of trauma, or what. It's more often seen in young men in high-stress phases of life.

Another possible cause for painful ejaculation is prostatitis, an inflammation of the prostate, which is a gland located up under the rectum. "It's a benign condition but an annoying one," Tierney says. And the cause is a mystery in this case, too.

What to do: Dysorgasmia (orgasmic pain) is tough to treat. Some men choose to endure discomfort, while others work with a qualified doctor (usually a urologist) to try various treatments.

Sex scene #9: When you ejaculate, nothing comes out!

It might be: Your prostate meds

Retrograde ejaculation is a condition where you experience orgasm -- but little to no semen comes out. (It exits through the bladder.) Alpha-blockers such as tamsulosin (Flomax), used to improve urination in men with enlarged prostate, are a common culprit. Sometimes diabetics also experience this due to nerve damage.

What to do: Nothing, unless it bothers you. "Most men don't care, but some do," Tierney says. A couple struggling with infertility would want to explore drug treatments or assistive reproduction techniques to remedy the condition.

Sex scene #10: It takes forever to ejaculate -- if it happens at all.

It might be: Diabetes, or prediabetes in the form of a weight problem

In 9 out of 10 men with anorgasmia -- the inability to reach orgasm -- the root cause is psychological (anything from performance anxiety to work stress to a history of childhood sexual abuse). But in the remaining 10 percent of cases, there's a penile sensory problem, most often caused by nerve damage due to diabetes, Tierney says.

Diabetics typically have other clues to the disease, including numbness in the feet, thirst, itchy skin, excessive urination, and fatigue -- but they don't always link the condition to sexual performance problems, which can include the inability to climax.

Overweight but not diabetic? "There's increasing evidence that obesity itself is a medical cause of erectile dysfunctions and loss of libido," Tierney says. "And obviously it can be a psychological barrier in the form of self-esteem issues."

What to do: Ask your doctor about medications to treat ED, such as Viagra or Cialis, but be aware that because diabetics often have heart problems, these drugs aren't always recommended. Instead: Don't discount the healing power of lifestyle changes.

"People want to take a pill to make sexual problems better, but a pill won't fix problems that are further back," Tierney says. "Sometimes the best fix is to do the hard work of taking better care of yourself: stress management, losing weight, working on the underlying medical conditions."

Make Love, Calm Down

RealAge.com

Do your palms sweat, knees shake, and lips quiver at the thought of giving a presentation?

The key to keeping your jitters at bay may lie between the sheets. According to a recent study, having sex before a stressful event, such as giving a speech or going on an interview, can greatly reduce anxiety. And the calming effect can last up to a week. Of course, an easier way to ensure a smooth performance is to simply know your stuff.

Wondering exactly how researchers measured the effect of sex on stress? A small group of people wrote down their daily sexual activities for two weeks. The same group then underwent several stress tests that checked their blood pressure both before and while giving a presentation. Afterward, researchers compared the impact of different sexual activities on blood pressure. In this study, people who had intercourse were less stressed and their blood pressure returned to normal faster than those who engaged in other forms of sexual activity. But those who abstained had the highest blood pressure response to stress.

How does sex help take your mind off your worries? This small study, like several others, points to a hormone called oxytocin as one possibility. Oxytocin seems to play a role when two people bond; it's released when couples have intercourse; and it's known to reduce the sweaty, shaky signs of stress. However, to say that the physiology of sex is complicated is a marvelous understatement. Researchers are still trying to identify the various ways that it affects human behavior.

Of course, no stress reduction strategy is worth pursuing if it puts your health at risk. The RealAge benefits to having an active, fulfilling sex life only apply when it's safe, monogamous sex.

6 Superfoods for Better Sex

By Lucy Danziger and the staff at SELF

Want a sexier, spicier sex life? The key to having more fun in the bedroom may have a lot to do with what foods you choose in the kitchen. I'm not talking about clichéd aphrodisiacs (oysters!); the everyday edibles below can help you get in the mood. Make them part of your diet and prepare to put more romance on the menu!

Plums Yes, this fruit can make you frisky! It may prevent plaque buildup in blood vessels, according to the British Journal of Nutrition. Clear arteries create better circulation, which increases arousal, according to Robert Fried, Ph.D., coauthor of Great Food, Great Sex (Ballantine Books).

Recipe for romance: Roasted Plums With Greek Yogurt

Chickpeas Garbanzos contain an amino acid called L-arginine, which provides nitric oxide, widening blood vessels and speeding your body's natural ability to turn on. Four tablespoons of hummus daily do the trick. Want alternate sources? Nuts, such as almonds and walnuts, and fish such as salmon, cod and halibut are arginine-rich, too.

Recipe for romance: Vegetable and Chickpea Ragout

Olive oil The healthy fat from Mediterranean fare helps your body produce enough testosterone—a key hormone for heightened sex drive (yes, for women, too). Two tablespoons daily will ensure you stay in tip-top shape!

Recipe for romance: Carrot-Ginger Dressing

Red wine Raise a glass to romance! Women who drank one to two glasses of red wine daily experienced more natural lubrication than teetotalers, according to a study from the University of Florence in Italy. Sip a 5-ounce glass (the recommended daily amount of alcohol) for more fun between the sheets.

Recipe for romance: Fresas al Vino (strawberries in wine!)

Dark chocolate Women who nibbled one cube of dark chocolate daily reported greater desire and better sexual function that those who didn't, according to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. The flavonoids in dark chocolate are linked to better circulation, which translates to a healthier sex life. Now, that's rich!

Recipe for romance: Mini Ice Cream Sandwiches

Tomatoes They're filled with antioxidants, which mop up free radicals to keep your cells healthy in every way. Red peppers, garlic, spinach, broccoli, beets, berries, watermelon and red grapes are also antioxidant-rich. Toss tomatoes and a rainbow of fruits and veggies all day for a healthy love life tonight!

Surprising Ways to Increase Your Sex Drive

By Dr. Maoshing Ni

Sexual activity is nature's secret fountain of youth! Sex raises the level of life-extending substances - such as endorphins, DHEA, and growth hormone - while lowering the stress hormones that shorten your life span.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are missing out on these health benefits of sex. Take a look at your libido and find out how to live long and last long.

Nature's Viagra for Men

Even before 50 years of age, hormone levels begin to decline in men, often resulting in a lower sex drive and interfering with the ability to perform.

Also, by this age, most men have developed plaque buildup in the circulatory system that decreases blood flow to the penis. These factors contribute to erectile dysfunction (E.D.), for many men the most disturbing aspect of aging.

Chinese medicine has had a long, successful history of reversing the decline in male sexual potency. My father, a celebrated doctor of Chinese medicine, created an herbal remedy for low libido called "Dragon Male Formula," which can be found in some select Whole Food stores or online at askdrmao.com.

The formula, used to promote healthy functions of the testicles, circulation, and hormonal system, is made up of deer antler velvet, ginseng root, morinda root, Chinese Senega root, and horny goat weed - effective for both male and female sexual potency.

Additionally, for most men, physical fitness and activity can increase their testosterone levels and build confidence. Reduce stress, get enough sleep, and eat a diet rich in zinc, which is found in beans and legumes, Brazil nuts, brown rice, cashews, peanuts, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, wheat germ, and the richest source of it all - oyster.

Long Live the Female Libido

Women, as aging sets in, begin to experience a prominent drop in sex drive. This is largely due to a decline in the hormones estrogen and testosterone. Other factors that diminish female desire include childbirth, the onset of menopause, stress, depression, relationship conflicts, fatigue, poor self-image, and inability to reach orgasm.

To preserve and enhance the hormonal aspect of libido, I often recommend an herbal formula to my patients, called "Feminine Desire," that combines horny goat weed with the herbs dong quai, wild yam, ginseng, and the spices anise, ginger, and turmeric.

This formula promotes healthy endocrine system function, as well as stirring up vitality, energy, and natural desires. Other essential elements to restoring the libido for women are getting in touch with emotions, connected with their partner, and feeling desirable. This formula is also available in select Whole Foods stores or online at askdrmao.com.

Libido Enhancement

1. Eat for your libido! Warming and pungent, these foods can help motivate the body's fire energy: garlic, onion, scallion, leek, chives, ginger, cinnamon, fennel, cardamom, anise, turmeric, cayenne pepper, black pepper, and horseradish.

Deep sea and cold water fish, including halibut, salmon, sardines, and shellfish can increase libido by improving overall sexual health with their high concentrations of essential omega fatty acids.

2. Desire-enhancing remedy: Make chicken broth by boiling chicken stock with turmeric, cayenne pepper, onion, leek, chive, and ginger. Eat at least one bowl daily.

3. Rekindle with romance. In today's fast-paced world, most people have abandoned the romantic evening meals. Treat your partner to a sensual candle-lit dinner with a little wine to warm up the yang energy. (But drink moderately because too much will cause temporary impotence.) Romance can have a powerful effect on a person's emotions and can instantly arouse sexual desires.

4. Let's get physical! Physical activity has been clinically proven to improve sexual health - 30 minutes of daily walking, jogging, and other cardio exercise can be combined with tai chi or qigong for good results. Kegel exercises can help strengthen the lower pelvic muscles and help prevent prostate problems in men and incontinence in women.

I hope you find the ways to rekindle the flame! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.

May you live long, live strong, and live happy!

-Dr. Mao

50 Essential Web Resources Every Nurse Should Bookmark

Published by DANA on MON MARCH 22, 2010

No matter your nursing education level, or what nursing program you attended, it always helps to have resources on hand to help you improve the level of care you provide your patients. From RN to BSN, it can be helpful to be able to call on a store of knowledge to remind you of what you know, find an effective treatment, or learn something new. Additionally, it can help to have the help and support of other nurses. If you are looking for good information, and for connection with other nurses, you can use these 50 web resources to accomplish what you would like to as a health care professional:

Nurse Forums and Communities

Get in touch with other nurses by becoming involved with nursing forums and communities. You can share your own thoughts and ideas, and learn from the real life experiences of others.

allnurses.com: This nursing community includes a wide variety of forums, as well as news, information and even job postings. Learn about nursing programs and degrees, and interact with other nurses who can help you be better at what you do.

Nurse.com: Visit the forums at the nursing community, and learn more about what you can do to improve your practice, as well as get some great help from fellow nurses.

Nurse Forum: This forum from NurseTV offers a place for nurses to discuss issues related to the field and share knowledge and information.

Nursing Voices: Get in touch with the global nursing community, learning new things, sharing experiences and getting good advice.

We the Nurses: This community and forum provides a way for you to search for information of interest to you, and to find general help and advice.

Ultimate Nurse: If you are interested in travel nursing, this forum is a great place to start.

Nurse RN Jobs Forum: Looking for a job? This forum and community offers career advice, job help and listings.

NursingCenter: Nurse community that offers news, forums and helpful articles. Connect with other nurses and health professionals.

Nursing Link: This community and forum from Monster.com allows you to interact with other nurses, find jobs and get career advice.

NurseConnect.com: As you might imagine, this is a place to connect with other nurses, share stories, and find helpful hints.

Nurse Uncut: This is a great forum that offers you the chance to chat about nursing. Based in Australia, you can get an interesting look at nursing with a more global perspective.

NurseLinkUp: A great social network for nurses looking to connect with others. Also offers job resources and news.

Professional Nursing Organizations

If you are interested in joining a professional nursing organization, or if you want to know about the latest issues, you can visit these web sites.

American Nurses Association: This is the largest nursing organization in the U.S., and a powerful lobbying group.

American Academy of Nurse Practitioners: If you are a nurse practitioner, this is a great organization to belong to.

American Assembly for Men in Nursing: “Murses” can find some support and help with this organization.

American Association of Legal Nurse Consultants: Legal nurse consultants can join this association.

American Forensic Nurses: Find fellowship with other forensic nurses, and learn more about this fascinating field.

American College of Nurse Midwives: This association is perfect for those who are interested in midwifery.

American Psychiatric Nurses Association: If you are a psychiatric nurse, you can network and get good advice when you join this organization.

Radiological Society of North America: Get help and advice, and networking opportunities, if you are involved as a nurse in radiology.

Hospice and Palliative Nurses Association: If you are involved with hospice care and end-of-life palliative care, this organization might be helpful.

National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners: Connect with others who are interested in helping children live healthy lives. Open to nurse practitioners.

International Council of Nurses: Join with an international society of nurses, networking on a global scale with others who share your passion.

International Society of Nurses in Cancer Care: Keep up with other nurses and nursing news surrounding cancer care around the world.

Creating Care Plans

As a nurse, it is important that you are able to create care plans and treatment plans. Here are some resources that can help you make better treatment plans, and provide better care to your patients.

Virtual Nurse: This site provides an overview of the elements needed in nursing care plans, and provides samples.

RN Central: Find sample nursing care plans for a number of different conditions and problems.

Careplans.com: Learn more about nursing care plans, how to create them, and view samples.

Nursing Crib: Get comprehensive information on creating care plans, and finding good samples of plans that have worked in the past.

Comprehensive Nursing Care Plans: Two nurses provide helpful information on nursing plans, and other resources and worksheets.

Wikipedia: If you want to read about how to put together a great nursing care plan, Wikipedia has great information.

Transitional Care Planning: Learn how to put together an assessment of care, and a plan for treatment and intervention.

eHow: Step by step instructions on putting together a perioperative nursing care plan.

CareScribble: This site actually costs money, but it is a great resource for putting together care plans, including helping you with layout and content. There is a 15-day trial, so you can get the basic idea.

Reference Sites

If you want to know more about a condition, or if you are interested in learning about how to guide your patients through various medical issues, you can use these handy reference web sites, useful for research and finding quick answers.

MedlinePlus: This is the health reference from the National Institutes of Health.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: The government offers helpful information on a number of health and medical issues.

MedicineNet.com: Doctors provide helpful knowledge about the body, diseases and conditions.

WebMD: Get information about different conditions, and read up on ways to better treat patients.

Medicine Online: Get health news and use this searchable medical encyclopedia to find answers to health questions.

Mayo Clinic: This well known medical institution offers helpful insights and references.

eMedicine: Medscape offers access to medical procedure information, and other useful information.

Nursing Calculators: Use these to help you figure dosages.

RXList: Find helpful information about drugs, dosing and interactions on this web site.

Case Studies and Journals

Helpful links to medical case studies and journals that can serve to help keep you up to date on the latest health and medical information.

Medical References: The University of Maryland provides access to educational reports, case studies and peer reviewed articles.

The American Journal of Nursing: Latest scholarly articles on nursing and nursing issues.

The Online Journal of Issues in Nursing: The ANA offers insight into nursing issues.

Directory of Open Access Journals: See a list of open access nursing journals from all over the world.

Online Case Studies: The Department of Pathology at the University of Pittsburgh offers some interesting case studies.

Pulmonary Case Studies: Interesting look at different case studies.

Medical Simulations: Takes you through different simulations of medical conditions.

Case Studies in Science: Interesting case studies, including those related to different aspects of medicine.

NURSING SPECIALTIES

Wikipedia.org

In the modern world, there are a large number of specialities within nursing. Professional organizations or certifying boards issue voluntary certification in many of these specialties.

Ambulatory care nursing

Advanced practice nursing

Burn nursing

Camp nursing

Cardiac nursing

Cardiac catheter laboratory nursing

Case management

Community health nursing

Correctional nursing

Critical care nursing

Emergency nursing

Environmental health nursing

Faith community nursing

Flight nursing

Forensic nursing

Gastroenterology nursing

Genetics nursing

Geriatric nursing

Health visiting

Home health nursing

Hospice nursing

Hyperbaric nursing

Immunology and allergy nursing

Intavenous therapy nursing

Infection control nursing

Infectious disease nursing

Legal nursing

Maternal-child nursing

Medical-surgical nursing

Military and uniformed services nursing

Neonatal nursing

Neuro-surgical nursing

Nursing informatics

Nursing management

Obstetrical nursing

Occupational health nursing

Oncology nursing

Orthopaedic nursing

Ostomy nursing

Palliative care nursing

Pediatric nursing

Perianesthesia nursing

Perioperative nursing

Private duty nursing

Psychiatric or mental health nursing

Public health nursing

Pulmonary nursing

Quality improvement

Radiology nursing

Rehabilitation nursing

Renal nursing

School nursing

Sub-acute nursing

Substance abuse nursing

Surgical nursing

Telenursing

Telephone triage nursing

Transplantation nursing

Trauma nursing

Urology nursing

Utilization management

Wound care

E-Prescribing Doesn't Make The Grade

By Nicole Lewis InformationWeek

July 06, 2011 11:50 AM

If you think electronic prescribing will solve the mistakes that occur when doctors hand-write prescriptions, think again. Findings from a study that assessed 3,850 computer-generated prescriptions show that 452, or 11.7%, contained a total of 466 errors. Of these, 163 (35%) were deemed to be potentially harmful. The researchers said these rates were not significantly better than those reported for handwritten prescribing systems.

A further breakdown of the numbers reveals that 58% of the 163 potentially harmful errors were classified as significant, and the remaining 42% were categorized as serious. None was life-threatening, the report said.

"Providers appear to be rapidly adopting electronic health records and computerized prescribing, and one of the major anticipated benefits is expected to be through medication-error reduction," lead study author Dr. Karen Nanji of Massachusetts General Hospital, wrote with colleagues. "Implementing a computerized prescribing system without comprehensive functionality and processes in place to ensure meaningful use of the system does not decrease medication errors."

Other key findings of the study were:

-- Four out of 10 medication errors involved anti-inflammatory drugs and antibiotics (anti-infectives), and the most common types of drugs associated with errors were nervous system drugs (27%), cardiovascular drugs (13.5%), and anti-inflammatory/antibiotic medications (12.3%).

-- The prevalence of prescribing errors varied considerably, depending on the system used, ranging from 5% to 37% among the 13 systems analyzed. The frequency of certain types of errors was also associated with particular systems.

-- Around 60% of errors related to missing information, which the authors suggest should be relatively easy to eliminate by some judicious tweaking or providing better training for the users.

-- There is room for improvement. The authors suggest that enhanced features that could improve e-prescribing functionality might include "forcing functions" which would not allow a prescription to be completed if certain information was missing; decision support systems, such as maximum dose checks; and calculators, they say.

A May report from Surescript Systems indicated that the adoption of e-prescriptions was on the rise and noted that over 326 million prescriptions were routed electronically in 2010 versus 190 million in 2009--a 72% increase. According to the report, upcoming meaningful use requirements will further accelerate e-prescribing utilization through 2015.

The Healthcare IT Leadership Forum is a day-long venue where senior IT leaders in healthcare come together to discuss how they're using technology to improve clinical care. It happens in New York City on July 12. Find out more.